. . . I live!!!!!
(Mushu, from Mulan, if you were wondering.)
Because this post is terribly overdue, we’re going to do coffee and cake as I romp through the past three months. The lovely Grace Anne did a beautiful post highlighting moments of gratitude from 2021, which inspired this one.
September. It started with a bang. My mom had a cycling accident during the second weekend of the month.
My mind went down all sorts of rabbit trails after Dad phoned with the news, and I had a Job moment before God. I know He doesn’t owe me answers. I know. But I asked Him why. Why, God, why? Why, why, why?
Two hours later my mom phoned – and she sounded normal. Immediately I was in tears. No broken bones, she said. Not one.
I was up and down during the week that followed. I shared it with my friend at our Bible study as her baby girl slept on my chest. It was my turn to pray that day; these are the teary words that came out.
“Thank You, God, that despite the pain and awkwardness and discomfort, You are still Mom’s Healer. You will walk her through the process and heal her perfectly. And I can’t fix it, but I don’t have to. I badly want to keep my family safe, but I can’t, so I leave them in Your Hands.”
Amazing how God works in each of us and ministers to us exactly as we need it. He guides us through the process. Even when you can’t feel Him, He’s busy. And He’s always there.
Two weeks later it was my twenty-third birthday. My parents were away, but I had instructions to be at the George airport at 9 AM (ON MY BIRTHDAY?!) to fetch an all-fired important present.
It was one of my oldest friends, who flew down from Gauteng for the long weekend. I SCREAMED. We stayed two minutes apart as kids and practically lived in each others’ houses. Holy cow!
To top it off, Henriëtte and her boyfriend were in the area for a wedding and spent the day with us too. It was lovely, fun (we were often close to tears of laughter), easy. How precious to have my two oldest friends with me on my birthday. Seeing them, and having my mom in one piece, were the best presents. Ever.
That weekend I ran on adrenaline for the first time in months as we partied for three days running. I attributed it to coffee, too much cheesecake and far too little sleep xD Everything was crazy and easy and fun. Such a blessing.
October. It was a long, sometimes tiring month. But there were so many lovely moments.
Playing violin at Emile and Silke’s beautiful wedding. How special and what a privilege to be part of it.
Being aware of the Father’s Presence. “I’m here,” He says. “It’s OK. You’re OK.” And I am. My OK-ness lies in the fact that He is here and will never leave.
Thinking-of-you messages in the middle of an ordinary, frustrating workday.
Pre-work coffee with my friend.
A belated birthday present from my sister’s friend – Unseen Academicals! I’ve eyed it for so long! – and her reminder that I have three sisters.
Henriëtte including me whenever she speaks of family.
Tane’s wedding!!! What a privilege and blessing to be there. I cried as her dad walked her down the (outdoor) aisle. God’s tangible Presence changed everything and made the day extra beautiful.
November. I became a slight hermit as I worked to submit two assignments and write four exams before month-end. I can’t say pulling six to eight-hour study stints each weekend was fun, but I was very aware of the Lord’s company. Even in the deeply, sometimes soul-destroyingly ordinary moments. And there was so much to be grateful for.
Milkshakes with Christine on a rainy Monday afternoon. Never too cold for a milkshake, lads!
Realising, on a Saturday evening, that I had been deeply aware of God’s Presence during the day. In everything I did.
Seeing Tane during her honeymoon!!! I shrieked and jumped when she let me know they were spending part of it in our area. They joined us for church and lunch afterwards. It was crazy special and gave me a boost for the whole month.
Like David in Psalm 139, I find myself totally overwhelmed by the constant there-ness of God.
Reading Orbiting Jupiter one Sunday evening. Oh, man. THAT BOOK.
Peek-a-boo with my friend and her seven-month-old twins in the hallway of their home. The house rang with baby shrieks and peals of laughter. I’m sure that comes close to the music of heaven.
Celebrating my first textbook-free Sunday in weeks . . . by taking a nap!
There you have it 🙂 The thread, as you can see, is the Presence of God. His company. His enabling and comforting there-ness.
As I wrote on the 13th of November, “He is always with me. He is my best and most faithful Friend. And His Presence is not a passively benign one, but actively good, kind and loving.”
May you be aware of that each day, especially as we enter this precious time of Advent.
Thank you for reading. And thank you for still being here 🙂 I value you sharing my journey.
P.S. I’m doing Hannah Brencher’s Advent email series again this year and I highly recommend it. Holler if you’re interested and I’ll send you the link to sign up 🙂
Only by Grace 